Monday, January 28, 2013

In fury

I was really upset this afternoon during my last period.

I am a teacher. Everyday of my life, I go out and work with students and for students. For years, I have believed that teaching is for me. But now, I am starting to doubt it. Am I supposed to be a teacher? Am I a good one?

Questions linger...I am perplexed.

This day, I shouted, I reprimanded, I cried.

I have grade 7 students who are very close to my heart. They are my first REAL advisory class. It's my first year of teaching. I love them despite all their shortcomings. But today, I was upset. They were so noisy that I couldn't anymore handle them and I have shown them that I do not like not one bit of their actions but they seem to not care. I don't know why. After the period ended, I did not dismiss them right away. I gave a special "lecture". I was disappointed, you can't blame me. I have said a lot of things. I really don't know if it pierced through their hearts or it came in one of their ears and went out on the other side. Either way, I believe I made a good point.  It was time for them to be better persons than who they are right now.

I do hope that the things I have told them served as an eye opener.

I have read this quote:

"Expect people to be better than they are; it helps them to become better. But don't be disappointed when they are not; it helps them to keep trying."

It gave me a lesson. I should not feel disappointed that  my students are not becoming better. I should keep on motivating them to be better. Despite the things that had happened, I have never loved them less. I will never love them less.